Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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