Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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