My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops