Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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I killed someone today. :D

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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*you're

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What you reading? reading?

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Dance is a sport

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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