"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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Gay's

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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