What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Dylan is a person

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops