What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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*you're

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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