Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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