Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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