How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +23

girls lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops