Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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