What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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.....Carrot Top....

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

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3.14159365358979323846264

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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