cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

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What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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