A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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