Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

your mother hates you

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

its my money!, but i dont need it right away

Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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