What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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I'm banging your sister.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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