Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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h

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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cms.......?????

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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