how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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An asian walks out of math class

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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World peace

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops