a black guy and a squirrel get hit on two different roads. whats is the difference? there are swerve marks by the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

thumb_up thumb_down -29

you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

thumb_up thumb_down -51

The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +64

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +64

why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

thumb_up thumb_down +56

GAY PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops