roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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women leaving the kitchen

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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My mom.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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