Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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