Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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My Girlfriend

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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