Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops