A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Atheism

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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