What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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