- Anti Joke

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

Your adopted

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

Click here to end the world.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.