Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's white and gluey Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Committing Suicide #YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ok

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops