How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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