Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Why so serious ?

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Fine, ladies first.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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