Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Fat people

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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