Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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I don't get it

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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