Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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