Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

well use a tissue!

why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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