A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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