Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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why was the cat black it was a black cat

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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