Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops