I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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