My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops