An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

What does greg and Ian have in common?

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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