a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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