Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

What's up? Your time.

What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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