Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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nothing

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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