How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down

2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops