What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Kony 2012

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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