Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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