Your mom is so nice.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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