Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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