A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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Knock knock

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the redsox

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops