When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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