What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

FUS RO DAH!!!

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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