Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

these are shit

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bark I'm a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's funny about war? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The Charlotte Bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops