How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

thumb_up thumb_down -71

A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +52

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

thumb_up thumb_down +50

whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops